Think about it this way: when you see a bride walking down the aisle brilliantly dressed in her best attire for her future husband. When you see her in all of her dazzling beauty, doesn't the way she is dressed make a statement? Doesn't it speak to others of the love that is in her heart for the man she is about to marry? Or, think about it this way: if you see someone dressed in a thick wool hat, wool mittens, a scarf around the neck and a heavy coat on, wouldn't it be safe to say this person is cold and is not headed to a picnic?
Clothing can communicate to others whether we are from a poor or a wealthy family. Have you ever seen someone on the street and thought they must live in a bad section of town, or seen someone else and thought about how nice it would be to have the kind of money they do in order to shop for clothes? Clothing sends out a message about our values, our character and our attitudes. For example, you can look at some people and tell that neatness is not a concern to them. You can look at others and tell by the way they are dressed whether they are having a good day or not. The way we dress and the way that we present ourselves is a reflection of what is in our heart.
In First Timothy 2:9, women are exhorted to dress modestly. Modest? What does modest mean to you? The most fitting definition of the word modest that I could find, that spoke the most to me, was from Webster's Dictionary, definition # 3: "observing the proprieties of dress and behavior". In simple terms, this means to dress decently.
The main reason I am writing this is that we, as Christians, have an obligation to set ourselves apart from those that are in the world. Part of setting ourselves apart from those in the world is to dress differently from those in the world. Ladies, are you doing YOUR part to set yourself apart from the world and dress in a decent manner (I speak especially to teens and young adults!)? If not, you need to take a serious look in the mirror and change your appearance so that you might not be conformed to this world!
I want to leave you with a few examples I have seen recently of immodest dress and ask all of you teens and young women to take some time out to think about and pray about the way that you dress and ask yourselves if you are doing all you can to glorify God in your manner of dressing. Here are some of the examples of immodest dress:
- Tight and form fitting shirts [what good is a shirt that covers private body parts if the size of the shirt enhances that which is covered?]
- Shirts that are too short and expose the belly/hip area
- Shirts that are too low cut or too loose at the top so that every move you make exposes private body parts [you can always find sleeveless shirts to wear under low cut shirts, or button up the shirts, or better yet, if the shirt is too low cut or too short, don't buy it and don't wear it!]
- Shirts that have writing across the chest are NOT decent at all because this only draws the eye to private parts of the body
- Pants or shorts that have writing across the bottom do the same thing - draws the eye to private body parts
- Pants that are too low waisted paired with a shirt that is too short [hey, I know low rise pants, jeans and shorts are the trend nowadays. I am not necessarily against them. It is when your shirt is not long enough to cover what the bottoms leave behind that causes indecent dress]
- Skirts that have slits in the sides and up the back need to be checked. You should sit down in front of a mirror and check all angles of your dress with this type of skirt on. What happens when you cross your legs? How big does the slit open up when you sit, stand and walk?
- See through material is just that! If you want to wear something with thin material, please invest in a nice full body or half body slip in order to more fully clothe yourself.
These are just a few things that I have seen lately. Remember, these things I am seeing from our fellow sisters in Christ! We have a responsibility to uphold one another, exhort one another, and rebuke one another in love when necessary.
I am not the most eloquent of writers or speakers. I really am a mild mannered, down to earth kind of person [at least I think I am!]. My intention here is not to offend anyone or point fingers at anyone other than our Lord Jesus Christ. I pray that all who read this take to heart what I have written. Please examine yourselves and your lives and truly ask yourself whether or not you have set yourself apart from those that are in the world.
I welcome any and every comment, whether private or public, and would be happy to discuss this subject more in length with anyone who has the desire!
5 comments:
I appreciate your comment, but ultimately I think people have to follow their convictions about what is modest because it varies from person to person. I think pants are modest, but some people whole-heartedly disagree with me and only wear skirts and/or dresses. However, more often than not I find the burden of responsibility being put on women, and not on men in terms of how they're looking at women. I also find it hugely ironic for men to want their wives covered, especially those that are extremely domineering about it, and yet they'll watch movies that contain nudity or be the first to browse the magazine racks, commercials, billboards, etc. I think being modest is equal parts personal conviction about personal representation, and recognizing that immodesty can cause others to sin. I think that some women feel forced to compete with the world, and so they put aside modesty in favor of vying for their husband's and/or boyfriend's attention.
I know that Joseph and I have had many discussions about a husband's and wife's role, and in church the sermons so frequently focus on the wife's submission, and so infrequently focus on God's command to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Honestly, I believe that if more husbands loved their wives as God commanded, and if more men in general were focused on God's warnings about a sinful heart, then maybe women wouldn't feel so compelled to compete for a man's attention using their bodies. It's like I've told Joseph -- Christ gave up literally everything for the church, including his life. For a husband to love a wife so selflessly would bring about a desire to submit, and if a wife was loved so thoroughly, I think competing with the world would fall away.
This world places so much value on appearance, beauty, thinness. None of us are immune. In a way, I think a woman's appearance is something of bargaining chip for love, and the way a woman dresses is merely a symptom of the larger problem. The problem, in my opinion, has to do with value. I don't necessarily disagree with you about modesty, but I think we are raising an entire generation of girls who are heartbreakingly appearance conscious, and who judge their value by their appearance. It's what they're being taught, and it's not only the world teaching them that. Men and boys in church are just as appearance driven, there are cliques -- girls and women who are externally more beautiful get more attention, are more "popular." It's not an excuse for women to dress and behave badly, but within our communities we need to redefine worth -- the women and the men.
Beautifully said! Thank you!- Tara
What an interesting topic for discussion. I’ve wanted to respond to this…I’ve been mulling it over in my head all day…but haven’t had a chance to put my thoughts together until now when the babe is down.
I probably bring a more secular opinion to the table. I am proud to live in a country where I can wear whatever I choose on a daily basis. Unlike women living in India or parts of the Middle East, religious beliefs or societal standards do not dictate our attire. I wholeheartedly support freedom of expression and have no desire that there be a dress code in existence in my daily life.
Having said that, I DO feel that clothing is a communication tool. Just like the car you drive or the neighborhood you live in, people quickly size you up based on your attire, hair (style, cut and color), nail polish, jewelry, purse, shoes, makeup, nails, piercing, tattoos, teeth…need I continue? It’s part of the package of who you are. But, it’s just the wrapping, not the core of the person.
While I am a fairly conservative dresser, I don’t feel that I am a terribly modest person. I have publicly breastfed my daughter EVERYWHERE without using a nursing cover. While I am discreet, I feel that this is a perfectly natural thing to do out in public (as we have been doing for years) and I in no way feel that it is inappropriate. I have yet to see a man try to get a peek at my breasts, but then again what little bit of skin may show, is not to lure, it is to nourish my daughter.
I think the bigger picture is how you carry yourself, male or female, regardless of religious convictions. What do you want to emphasize about yourself? What are your true “assets”? Can you laugh at yourself? Do you love yourself for who you are? Are you kind to others? Are you patient? Do you help others who are less fortunate? Bottom line, in my mind? Ultimately, we need to teach our children valuable characteristics that make them whole.
Melanie, Rob and I have discussed this at great length as well.
I agree with what Shana said--seems like some men go overboard with covering up their wives and daughters, and then don't have issues watching R rated movies.
But I also think that modesty is entirely cultural. There are places in Africa where the women wouldn't THINK of wearing pants, but they go around totally top-less. The dresses-only idea seems to be American conservative Christians. I've spoken to a good many women from different countries (all Christian, some missionaries) who say they don't know anybody in their home (or adopted, as in the case of missionaries) country who believes women should wear only dresses (except, of course, in the countries where it's cultural to wear only skirts). They all say it's an American-invented idea, left over from Victorian England.
I've been pretty horrified at some shirts I've seen on girls the last couple of years. Very tight t-shirts with "Kiss me" or "Big Squeeze" written in large letters across the front. Worn by preachers' daughters. Now I might chuckle if those were night clothes, but they're worn where my husband has to look at them! My poor husband, whose eyes I feel like covering with my hand when those girls glide by.
I wonder if girls who dress that way feel so awful about themselves that they believe they have no worth outside their shape. I pity them, that they can't see themselves as beautiful because God made them and loves them.
Or do they just not know what they're doing? In trying to catch a guy's eye, they accidentally catch every man's eye, even the old grandpas. Do they realize that? That my husband sees them and has to repent of his thoughts? That ole grandpa just sinned because a little girl deliberately wore something immodest? I know, some men are such pigs that they'd think things while looking at a woman in a burka. But others are constantly wary and attempting to guard themselves, and then it's thrust in their faces, so to speak, at the most inopportune times--like during church.
I forgot to leave my name on that last one.
---Leanne
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