Playing with my blog...

I have enjoyed rearranging and changing my blog this evening. I did not know that it could be this easy! I chose pink because "pink is in the air" around this part of Roanoke, Virginia! Friday 12/5 is the date that my husband, son and I should meet little Bethany Arlene. I am so excited! Of course, there is a very slight chance that Friday will be a no go, but it is so slight I am not even considering it! We have been busy here trying to get last minute things done. I have mostly been sitting and delegating as my DH is doing. Going into the hospital is like going on a vacation. I hate coming home to a messy or unorganized home and there is only so much I can do from a resting state. I like to come back home to nice smells - you know, not the kind where...oops, you forgot to empty the trash before you left... or dishes piled up at the sink waiting to be washed. I really want to come home to my haven and rest, so we are still plugging away at at few things here in our home.

Thursday is a packed day for us with three different dr appts and a presurgical appt at the hospital, so that morning, really early we are going to drop Josiah off at Grandma's house [Danny's mom...who btw...is such a great mom and grandmother! I feel great with Josiah in her care for a few days now and a few days later. She has been such a help to me/us!!!], go to all of our appts, and we even thought we might be able to throw one more quiet night in the mix for just Danny and I. This will probably consist of one of our favorite things to do...Barnes and Noble...we love to go, sit and read! I told Danny tonight that I already miss Josiah and he is not even gone! Josiah melted my heart tonight when, for the first time, unprompted, got a baby doll[okay, so it was actually a naked Barbie doll...I have no idea where it came from...], put it in the new swing we have for Bethany, and turned the music on and said her name. He has been calling Bethany "Baby Betty" which I have been working really hard on, so tonight he turned the music on and gleefully exclaimed "Bet-a-nee!", over and over again. It really did do my heart good!

So, Friday morning is fast approaching and I am excited yet really nervous about my surgery. I don't want to go into too much detail, but my c-section with Josiah was not planned, but that is what ended up happening. The surgery was very invasive and some things were not what I wanted at all. Since the surgery was so invasive, it is a very bad idea for me to have future births naturally. Trust me on this, I could go into further detail, but will spare you unless you want to talk privately. But, I hope things will be different with this delivery. With Josiah, I was not alert AT ALL. I remember only a few things because right before we decided to go ahead with the c-section, I had been given two very powerful pain medicines...stadol and something else. I was loopy! In the operating room, I remember my DH with tears in his eyes getting down in my ear and singing "Great is thy faithfulness". I remember waking myself up snoring...yes, I snored through most of the surgery... and I remember hearing Josiah screaming and trying to comfort him from where I was. Danny was able to hold him and Josiah finally stopped crying when he was held up to my face and I was able to sing to him and whisper in his ear. I don't remember anything after this. I don't remember the first time I got to hold Josiah and I don't remember the first time I got to nurse him. I know that both were very long periods of time after Josiah was born and later I was really sad about this. Anyway, I guess what I am getting at is that I am glad that I expect this surgery to go better. I can be as alert as I want as long as the anesthesiologist knows what I want. I have already talked to the L and D nurses at the hospital and I have been assured that unless there is a problem with me or the baby, I can take Bethany with me to the recovery room and hold her or nurse her as long as I want or when I want. So, I am thankful that since I have to have a c-section, it will at least go the way I want it to this time. Well, I have gone on for long enough. I mostly wanted to say I am excited about our baby and seeing pink!!!