The Keeper at Home

I have recently talked to or read my friends' blogs and recently realized that there are many misconceptions of the stay at home mom. Since I left the corporate world in December 2006, I have never been happier, more content and satisfied with my role as a keeper at home/stay-at-home mom. All too often though, I hear comments like these:

• Boy, you sure have it easy
• What I wouldn't give to be at home all day doing nothing
• What do you do all day?
• Oh, so you don't work?

These are just a few. To tell a couple on my husband [I love you dear, and am not upset with you anymore over your comments! :-)], one time a refrigerator repairman was coming over to look at our refrigerator. My DH works at night and sleeps during the day, so I was going to have to schedule this man in and work around him. When he asked Danny what time he should come, Danny said, "Come anytime you want, my wife doesn't work!". I thought to myself, your wife doesn't work? What does he think I do all day? And I also thought, sure! Let the man come while I have all 6 children that I babysit, better yet, since 5 out of the 6 are still in diapers, let him come when I am changing diapers or fixing lunch. Sure, come anytime, because I DON'T WORK!!! Instead of yelling at him or getting mad, I waited for him to get off the phone and I gently asked him, what do you think I do all day if you think I don't work, and better yet, what do you think three families pay me for if you think I don't work? Even as recent as last week, he made another comment, not really meaning anything by it, but we were at my OB's office for a check up. I was giving the DR my Blood sugar and Blood pressure reports [I have to check both as many as 4-5 times a daily for my health right now!] and the DR said, "Where do you find time in your day to do all of this?" And before I could answer, DH says, "Well, she's a stay at home mom!", like that meant I had all the time in the world. I didn't correct him in the office, but we got outside and I told him I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but that isn't the thing you say to any woman, especially your wife! Like I said, I know my husband didn't mean anything by his statements, he is just proud that I am able to stay at home with our son right now and he wants me to know how proud he is.

So, this has me thinking...why does America stereotype the stay at home mom as a lazy bum who can't get a job and wouldn't want one if she had one anyways? The many misconceptions of the stay at home mom has me really frustrated me since I became one myself. My DH sleeps during the day and when he wakes up, I tend to slow down a little in an effort to spend time with him. He does not see all of the things that go on while he is asleep. For example, in a typical day, especially since I still babysit an additional family of three, I am going non-stop all day long. I not only have to change diapers for two children several times a day, I have to help another one with his current potty training agenda. I also have to get breakfast, lunch and snacks ready and when I am not changing diapers or preparing food for the kids, I am menu planning, grocery list making, I wash dishes at least 3 times a day, I am paying bills, making necessary phone calls, cleaning up toys, preparing for nap time, wiping up spit-up or runny noses, I am keeping the laundry going, I am chasing down the little pup who has jumped the fence again, I am refereeing arguments between toddlers and the list goes on. No one knows or sees what goes on in my home, but typically, if you tell someone in the outside world that you are a stay at home mom, you see their red flags pop up like antennas. They automatically assume that you are a lazy bum who does nothing all day.

When I get to feeling down about how others view my working at home, I turn to the best keeper at home I know and find solace in her example and I am renewed and energized to fight the good fight and keep up the good work. Let me share her with you:

The Virtuous Woman

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

This is for all of those stay at home moms I know who have nothing to do but sit around all day! ;-)

I love my crockpots!

Okay, so at the moment I am feeling another burst of glorious energy, but I sense it leaving me soon, so I am trying to get as much done as I can today. I already have Sunday's church lunch in the crockpot and tonights dinner in the crockpot and am busy cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen. What's in my crockpots? I am glad you asked!

Stew Meat w/ Rice [so super easy, and a big hit!]

1 pack of stew meat
1 can of cream of mushroom soup [I like mine w/ garlic]
1 can of french onion soup

Cook on low for 7-8 hours or cook on high for 4-5 hours until meat is cooked through.

You can serve this over rice, white or brown, egg noodles, or cous-cous! Delicious!

AND

Teriyaki Sirloin Strips w/ onions and peppers [this one is for my husband, not particularly a favorite of mine!]

4 Beef Sirloin steaks, cut into julienne strips

1 large onion, cut into julienne strips

1 large red or green pepper, cut into julienne strips

1/2 to 1 cup of honey teriyaki sauce [we like Ken's]

Cook on high for 4-5 hours or low for 7-8 hours.

We serve this many different ways...either over cous-cous, rice, or in tortillas. Mmmm!

MY HUSBAND ROCKS!!!

My husband rocks because not only did he let me go grocery shopping by myself, he encouraged it! I actually really like going grocery shopping together with him, but I was needing some "me time" and he knew it. I love my man!

Admission of Guilt

Okay, so I have been wearing this one pair of shoes since I have been pregnant. They have been the most comfortable, easy and functional shoes that go with just about everything [and if they didn't go, I didn't care...I am not a shoe person!]. Well, my feet are getting a little more out of shape and swollen and I can't wear those shoes any more and it is getting to cold to wear them, so it is back to the faithful tennis shoes! I put them on this morning and did not draw the laces too tightly because they were already tight enough. I walked around for a few minutes and my feet felt terrible! I couldn't believe how bad my feet were hurting! I got my son out of bed and we walked downstairs and by this time I was hurting so bad I was wincing and trying to decide what to do as I needed to go for a Dr's appt. Well, about that time, I sat down and looked at my shoes. Wouldn't you know, the reason for my pain was something that drove my Dad nuts for years and years when I was little! I put my shoes on the wrong feet! I couldn't believe the stupidity! Well, I fixed my shoes, which by the way, my feet feel much better this morning, and I called my dad, who I knew would get a huge kick out of this. So, when I told Dad about it, he said in the most pitiful and mournful aching voice..."I thought you would NEVER put your shoes on the the right feet and it killed me!". The bad part is, I realized the reason Josiah has been taking his shoes off and bringing them back to me...yes, you guessed it, I have been putting his shoes on the wrong feet. I haven't been doing it every time, but enough that my son doesn't like it! You can call me directionally dyslexic!

My Husband Rocks!

Okay, a few of my friends are doing this and I keep thinking I ought to add this to my blog; then I went to the blog of the person who came up with "My Husband Rocks, Fridays"!, then I felt really motivated to get on board as a way to build my husband up and think about all of the wonderful things he does for me on a CONSTANT basis!

My Husband Rocks, Fridays!

[yes, I know it is Saturday and I am a day behind!]

My husband ROCKS! On a daily basis, after working all night, the first thing he asks me when he wakes up in the afternoons is: "What can I do for you, honey?" Today I have been behind on what seems like everything. Here it is, after 6pm, dinner has almost another hour to cook in the oven, and my wonderful husband said it was okay that we are having dinner a little bit late because he is not all that hungry anyways. So, he packed up a bowlful of grapes and some animal crackers and said, "Why don't I take Josiah to the park for a walk and to play so you can have some time to yourself while dinner is cooking?". Isn't he thoughtful? He is constantly doing things like this for me, and that is just one reason "my husband rocks"!

Regarding that Last Blog Entry

I went back and read my last entry and laughed! It seems as though I was nesting even in my mind! I would love to know how other mother's out there learned to control this nesting syndrome. I am at a point where I really need to slow down on a daily basis, but my mind and body races to the point where I get frantic over things left to be done. Please pray for me to calm down and enjoy the last little bit of time I have with just me and my little boy. I know when this little girl comes along, it will be a different world!

The Nesting Syndrome

Okay, so I am roughly 6-7 wks away from having another baby and let me tell you, the nesting syndrome has kicked into overdrive with me. It is different this time around for me because with my DS, Josiah, I was put on bedrest at 32 weeks because of preeclampsia and high blood pressure. Whatever didn't get done before bedrest either didn't get done, my husband did it, or some of my dear friends and family came over and helped out to get things done while I delegated with my feet propped up. This time, so far and praise the Lord, I have not required bedrest. I tell you, though, I am going crazy. There are so many things around the house I see doing and I just don't know when I will ever get them done. Some say the "nesting syndrome" comes around because women need something to do to pass the time until the baby comes [must have been a man who said that!]. Some say it is just an indwelling desire to organize and have everything perfect. For me, I know...beyond any doubt...that I am going through the nesting syndrome because I feel like I will not be able to get ANYTHING done after this DD comes along. It is already hard enough to get much done with a beautiful toddling Josiah under my feet most of the day and I just know that it won't get any easier with # 2. So, after having shared all of this, let me share why I haven't posted in a while:

I have thoroughly cleaned the baby's room from top to bottom, including all of the baby girls clothes in drawers and organized with all of the beautiful dresses we have been given hung in the closet neatly. The drawers have been accurately labeled for the sake of my DH who may not be able to find things other wise. I have also cleaned out DS drawers and they only hold the clothes that he can wear right now and throught the winter. They have also been categorized and labeled. We took down the Thomas the Train table from DS's room and put it downstairs in what we now call the "play room". I have set up our beautiful $2 changing table that we found at a yard sale [with not a scratch or problem on it!] with a diaper changing pad I made out of my remaining Noah's Ark material, set with everything at hand for when the new baby arrives. I also have dusted/swept/mopped and rotated all of the toys and stuffed animals so DS will have "new toys" in his room to play with. We pulled up the crib mattress gave it a good cleaning with soap and water [why you ask? It just seemed important at the time!] and replaced the bumper pads and sheets. All clothes too big or too little have been stored for now by my wonderful husband. Consider the baby's room done [until next week, when I am sure I will find more to do in there!]

We set up a play room in our computer room so not all of the toys will be underfoot when you first walk in the door. We have set up the Thomas the Train Table with the tracks and the trains, several baskets of toys are accessible, the pac n play has been set up for the little girl I babysit to nap in [and it is thoroughly cleaned out! YAY!] Baby toys have been categorized and stored for at least a few months until the baby has need for them. Books have been put on a little kids shelf for reading enjoyment. All other items have been stored in the basement for now. The computer desk has been cleaned off and organized and all of my sewing materials/equipment have been stored within easy reach. Dusting/sweeping/mopping have all been taken care of!

I have gotten rid of or sold toys that are not played with or not desired by me anymore, toy box has been organized [I know, stupid idea...it already needs it again!]. Laundry Room and Diningd Room have received a thorough detailing. The kitchen is another story. I am working on that today and taking a break from it for now. At least all of the dishes are done and supper is cooking in the crockpot!

The pantry will be tackled this weekend and organized...it will take a while! The bathroom was emptied from top to bottom, scrubbed down from top to bottom and only necessary things were put back in the bathroom to be organized and straightened.

Our master bedroom, where the baby will sleep, probably for a few months at least, has been cleaned from top to bottom, organized and the baby corner has been set up for when the baby comes home.

Oh my goodness! As I write this, it seems there are so many other things that are needed to be done! I can't believe I am writing about it instead of doing it.

Well, having said that, happy cleaning/nesting or doing nothing for the rest of the week!

I got it!

I got my stinkin' driver's license in the mail. Yipee.

I've been tagged...

A friend of mine "tagged" me to tell 7 random things about myself then ask 7 others to do the same thing, so here it goes:

1. I have a terrible habit of reading the same book over and over and over again. All of the books on my shelves have probably been read about 5 times each, especially if the author is Janette Oke or Lori Wick.
2. I am an organization "junkie" wannabe, meaning I desire organization in every aspect of my home and life, but so often fail to suceed that I get discouraged and let things build up around me.
3. I love to wash/dry/fold clothes, but I hate to iron or put them away.
4. I also love to wash dishes, but hate putting dishes away.
5. I am hooked on thank-you notes. I know that sounds funny, but I send thank-you notes to everyone for everything. My husband thinks I am crazy.
6. I am a control freak and my husband loves me in spite of it.
7. I love to-do lists and have a 5 subject notebook filled with to-do lists and lists of all sorts from this year. I can't wait to start next year's notebook...pathetic, I know!

So, now you have enough information to use against me! I will tag seven other friends as well! Thanks, Christy! I enjoyed reading and sharing!

My Department of Motor Vehicles Saga

Back in March of this year, Josiah and I took a trip to GA by ourselves. I don't like going by myself and just Josiah, but if I do, I always try to make as few stops as possible and get there as quickly as I can. So, I was about 2 hours from my parent's home, just inside the GA state line and I needed to stope and get gas. I decided to pay at the pump so I wouldn't have to get Josiah out of the car, but while I was pumping, I decided to open the back door to play with JoJo. I eventually got back in the car and left, got a couple of exits down and decided to get a drink at Starbuck's, when to my horror, I can not find my wallet AT ALL!! I panicked and drove as fast as I could back to my previous location to search for my wallet. We went inside at the gas station to see if anyone found it, I looked around outside and it was no where. I searched the car from top to bottom hoping beyond all hope that I dropped it inside the car, but it was no where. I had to face the facts, I must have laid my wallet on top of the car when I was playing with JoJo and then forgot about it and drove off. Even worse than this, I had to call my dad and tell him how stupid I had been. Dad was sweet about it, but I can hear the police officer wheels churning in his head thinking about all of the times he had told me to protect myself and belongings, etc., etc. Well, it gets worse. I had some business to attend to in GA and needed my birth certificate and SS Card with me to do it, and where do you think it was? It was ALL in my wallet, the dumbest place on earth for it all. I had to have my DH wire me money the next day and I had to cancel my bank cards, etc., and hear from family members about the ridiculousness of the situation. On top of that all, I had absolutely no form of identification on me whatsoever! Okay, so the next line of action was to replace the items I had lost, namely my Driver's license, SS card and Birth certificate, right? You would think it would be easy, right? Keep reading...

So, I get back home and I was told my the DMV that in order to get my license replaced I had to have two forms of ID and it could be 2 of these four things: SS Card, Birth certificate, Passport, or marriage certificate. Well, I didn't have what it took, so I turned to the SS Administration thinking I could use my marriage certificate and ss card when it was reissued. Well, at the SS Admin., they must work in conjunction with the DMV to not help people out, because in order to get my SS Card replaced, what do you think I had to have? Right...two forms of identification out of the same four listed by the DMV, which I STILL DON'T HAVE!!! So, next plan, get a copy of my birth certificate from the state of GA and use that in conjunction with my marriage certificate. Sounds easy enough, right? Think again! I ordered my birth certificate for $50 and got it in the mail in about 3 weeks, then went to pull our marriage certificate out of our strong box, where we thought we had it, but what do you think? You are right, again! It is not there. So, I write to the county court where we obtained our license and asked them to send me a duplicate copy for $5. So, a few days later this really nice lady called and said there was not a marriage certificate on file for us. WHAT?!?!? She said she saw where we had applied for a license but never sent in for the certificate. She told me she could send the license back to the preacher who married us for him to sign and validate, then she could issue the certificate to us. Dear old Uncle Jimmy signed that paper and promptly returned it for us. In the meantime, I spoke with the DMV commissioner dude who informs me that I have to have the actual birth certificate, not a duplicate copy. The SS Admin tells me the same thing. The commissioner of the DMV tells me to get the marriage license and then call him back and he would see if he could further help me then. Finally, we seemed to be getting somewhere!!! I got the marriage license and called him. He said that he has been given the authority to go ahead and file for my replacement license, then he asked me for my customer number from my driver's license. Huh??? I explained I didn't have it because my DL was lost. He tells me he can not help me with anything without my customer number and that he can not give out the number to me, it is something I have to provide to him for security. Okay, so I asked him how I could get my customer number and he said I would have to get it from my DL! I was dumbfounded at the stupidity!!! I told him I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard and eventually just hung up on him. But, guess what? Yesterday I was going through some paperwork and I found a letter from the DMV that my husband had requested from them shortly after I lost my wallet. The letter was just a statement to say that I had a good record and no outstanding incidences and stuff like that. Guess what was at the top of this letter! My Customer Number!!! So, $10 and 3 minutes later, after 7 months of trying to get my DL replaced and drive as little as possible, I ordered my replacement card from the internet. The many lessons I learned are good ones. Everyone listen carefully:

• Do not EVER leave your wallet on top of your car
• If you do, do not drive off without picking it back up
• Do not store all of your personal identification in one place! NEVER store SS Card, DL or birth certificate together and definitely do not store in your wallet
• Send in for your marriage certificate as soon after you get married as possible
• If your DL # on your card is different than your SS #, write it down in a safe place for incidents like this!
• Listen to your parents...especially if one is a policeman who deals with this kind of crud on a regular basis!

Okay, I feel better now that I have vented and I hope you learn something from my very stupid mistake/s!

Mixtures of Joy and Sorrow...

The past month truly has been mixtures of joy and sorrow with several loved ones going home to be with the Lord. I wrote about a month ago about dear sister Rhonda Jones who died suddenly leaving behind her husband and five children. Please continue to pray for the Jones family as they still grieve their mother but strive to continue on in their everyday activities.

Then, a family friend, Elmo Nester, passed away after being ill for some time. We were blessed to see his dear wife at the annual family reunion the afternoon of his death. He will be missed, but we rejoice that his suffering is ended and he is with the Lord.

Last week, a dear sister in Christ, Ruth Adams, who had been ill on and off for over a year and a half, had a joyous homegoing to be rejoiced in. A couple of days before she passed she continuously asked those around her if they were seeing the angels that she was. On the morning she passed, after several days of not being able to move her arms or legs at all, she raised her arms, cried out "praise the Lord!" and passed away. It is times like these that you can not help but feel overwhelming joy for the loved one lost.

Sadly, Sunday afternoon, our family lost a dear loved one who inspired us all in her life. Grandma, Ethel Ayers Vass, passed away in the home of her daughter, Joyce, where she had been living for a couple of years. Grandma was a wonderful mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and even a great-great-grandmother! Up until about 3 weeks ago, Grandma still came to church every Sunday morning with her daughter Joyce, and was still even able to make some church meetings with Joyce on a regular basis. Grandma had a smile that could light up a room when you talked to her. She couldn't always hear you very well, but she knew you were there and that you were talking to her. My little boy Josiah would always go up to her and perch his hands on her knees while she sat in her wheelchair and would jibber-jabber to her like she was his long lost best friend. Grandma always smiled and talked back to him and loved on him. One of my personal favorite memories of Grandma was on the day after Josiah was born. Joyce brought Grandma to see us and to see Josiah. Grandma took Josiah in her arms and joyfully looked at his feet and proclaimed he was a beautiful baby! I don't think anyone told her she was looking at his feet and not his face! That day a four generation picture was taken. I was overwhelmed and in tears because I didn't know if Grandma would make it to meet our little boy. She did though! Even though she won't be here to meet the baby we are expecting now, I am so glad and overjoyed at the fact that she is no longer suffering in her body here on this earth. I rejoice to know that she is down at the feet of Jesus singing His praises and proclaiming His glory and righteousness forevermore!

We do ask for prayers for our family as we prepare to lay Grandma's body to rest this Thursday in her hometown. Even in our joy, there is of course sorrow too by all of us left behind. We will miss Grandma very much and as one grand-daughter wrote in a tribute to Grandma, she has left "her footprint on my heart".

While I'm thinking about it...

My dear mother in law is notorious for telling you stuff "while she is thinking about it", so in her honor, while I have cookies in the oven, I will share some info "while I am thinking about it"!

So, most of you know we are due to have a baby in December. The official due date is 12/25, but I will have to have a c-section because of some medical problems, so if the baby is healthy and all looks well, the birth of our daughter will be around 37 wks in early December. We have pretty much decided on a name early on...at least the first name was cemented in stone, but we hemmed and hawed about the middle name and then decided about a month or two ago. I just realized we must not have told everyone the name because I think I have told everyone, then someone else pops up and asks what her name will be. We are not a couple who cares about keeping it secret until the baby is born, so we are proud to announce that we will name our baby girl Bethany Arlene. Bethany is a name that I have long loved and wanted since being married and thinking of children. Arlene is a family name that originated with my Great-grandmother Voisie Arlene Davis. I have a few, but great, memories of my great-grandma and I thought about the family legacy presented. Not only is Mamaw Davis' middle name Arlene, so is my mother's and mine. I thought my grandmother's middle name was Arlene as well, but I have since found out her's is Ann, not Arlene. So there you have it! We can't wait to welcome our daughter Bethany into the world!

Pumpkin Spice Cookies

Ingredients:

2 cans pumpkin
1 box spice cake mix
1/2-2 cups of water

Mix pumpkin and spice cake mix together 1st, slowly adding water, little by little until you have a nice creamy consistency. Cook for 20 minutes on 400.

If you are a Weight Watchers fan, these cookies have 1 pt. per cookie. They are great!