Mama Drama

This may sound really weird to all of you mama's out there, but last week is the first time I really realized that Josiah's mood for the day depends on me and vice-versa. Last week my little man was the happiest, giddiest, lovingest and sweetest little boy I ever thought was. He was so happy and that made me happy and we had a GREAT week. We played a lot together, he played alone a lot and kept himself occupied. Disciplining was kept to a minimum and did not create a whiny little boy for the rest of the day when I had to discipline. All in all, I was really surprised at how we "play" off of each others moods. Today, I realized it as well. Today was a day that I would like to start over and do again. Josiah woke up screaming from his bed. He is putting more and more words together and some short sentences. His phrase of choice this morning, in between shrieking cries was, "Need to eat! Mommy! Need to eat! Gilk, Gilk! Pease!!!". It was cute at first, but got old quick. I have long learned that I need to fix Josiah's breakfast before getting him out of bed, because he is very impatient and grumpy when he is hungry and sees me fixing his food. So, I go and get him out of bed and have been greeted for the past week with a big hug and kiss, but not today, no, siree! I asked for a kiss and the mere request sent him into a temper tantrum where he threw himself back in his bed and hit his head, accounting for bruise # 1 today. We got downstairs without much further ado and he ate his breakfast somewhat cheerfully, then we got down to other business. Let me tell you, Josiah whined, cried and threw temper tantrums ALL DAY LONG! It is this that turns my day into funk city. I can't stand the constant whining and tantrums when I tell him no or correct him. At one point today, he climbed up into a chair and then fell out of it onto a little riding lion in the floor. I picked him up, checked him out and comforted him and quickly noticed bruise # 2 appearing swiftly on the forehead. He was bound and determined to show me what happened, so he got out of my lap and banged his head as hard as he could on the lion just to show me what happened. The comforting cycle began again and I noticed bruise # 3 appearing on his cheek. It was then also that I noticed a scratch and a bruise under his chin...where it came from I know not! He tried to show me what happened two or three times and then began hitting his lion as hard as he could because he was mad at it. I finally put the toy on the front porch after disciplining Josiah for his actions. This was the unforgivable. Josiah put on the biggest tantrum yet with that "my feelings are so hurt" poochie lip. I just ignored it and tried to go on about my day. He went on with this for about 15 minutes and I considered putting him back in bed for my own sanity [also, please understand, I was babysitting three other children today...one is 6 yrs, 2 yrs and 1 yr old] but decided against it. But on and on it went. Danny got up and could see that I was in a bad mood and not to be reckoned with at the moment. He was having his own problems with Josiah also. At one point, after Josiah threw himself in the floor again, banged his face, resulting now in bruise # 6, I began to cry myself. I often do not do this, but today I was broken and battered. Josiah saw me crying even though I was trying to control myself and he came over and said, "Are you okay?" which is another favorite phrase, but usually he says it when he hurts himself and someone is nearby, he will ask if they are okay. I picked him up, told him how much I loved him and informed Danny I was taking a nap. "What time do you want me to wake you up?" he asks. "Whenever you want, my dear!" It was a good nap and I woke up to my little boy crawling and climbing all over me and rubbing my head like Daddy does. Then he began to give me "kisses on the wips!" which we have been trying really hard to get him to kiss us with his lips and not just press his cheek to us. What is the point to all of this you ask? I guess in a way I am just venting, but I have been going over this day in my mind and wondering what I would do differently and there are so many things. Most importantly, I would have prayed throughout the day for guidance and patience. There are so many times I don't know how to react to Josiah's reactions and most often I do it in the wrong way, so I need guidance. Patience...I lack it so much and I think my poor little boy has gotten this lack of patience from me! He learns quickly! I have been thinking about the verse in the bible about "create in me a clean heart, oh god, and renew a right spirit within me." I know I may not have all of the words to the verse right, but this is my prayer for tomorrow! Let me say one more thing...I am so thankful to my DH because even though I was in a bad mood, he didn't let me affect him, instead, he let me take a nap and took Josiah out for a walk [even though he didn't change him out of his PJ's first...but hey, who's to know?!] which seems to be the highlight of Josiah's day. Josiah didn't come back in a much better mood, but I am praying the same prayer for him tomorrow as I pray for me. God is on His throne and is able to do above all I ever ask or plead! Thanks for listening to my whining!