- Boy, you sure have it easy
- What I wouldn't give to be at home all day doing nothing
- What do you do all day?
- Oh, so you don't work?
These are just a few. To tell a couple on my husband [I love you dear, and am not upset with you anymore over your comments! :-)], one time a refrigerator repairman was coming over to look at our refrigerator. My DH works at night and sleeps during the day, so I was going to have to schedule this man in and work around him. When he asked Danny what time he should come, Danny said, "Come anytime you want, my wife doesn't work!". I thought to myself, your wife doesn't work? What does he think I do all day? And I also thought, sure! Let the man come while I have all 6 children that I babysit, better yet, since 5 out of the 6 are still in diapers, let him come when I am changing diapers or fixing lunch. Sure, come anytime, because I DON'T WORK!!! Instead of yelling at him or getting mad, I waited for him to get off the phone and I gently asked him, what do you think I do all day if you think I don't work, and better yet, what do you think three families pay me for if you think I don't work? Even as recent as last week, he made another comment, not really meaning anything by it, but we were at my OB's office for a check up. I was giving the DR my Blood sugar and Blood pressure reports [I have to check both as many as 4-5 times a daily for my health right now!] and the DR said, "Where do you find time in your day to do all of this?" And before I could answer, DH says, "Well, she's a stay at home mom!", like that meant I had all the time in the world. I didn't correct him in the office, but we got outside and I told him I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but that isn't the thing you say to any woman, especially your wife! Like I said, I know my husband didn't mean anything by his statements, he is just proud that I am able to stay at home with our son right now and he wants me to know how proud he is.
So, this has me thinking...why does America stereotype the stay at home mom as a lazy bum who can't get a job and wouldn't want one if she had one anyways? The many misconceptions of the stay at home mom has me really frustrated me since I became one myself. My DH sleeps during the day and when he wakes up, I tend to slow down a little in an effort to spend time with him. He does not see all of the things that go on while he is asleep. For example, in a typical day, especially since I still babysit an additional family of three, I am going non-stop all day long. I not only have to change diapers for two children several times a day, I have to help another one with his current potty training agenda. I also have to get breakfast, lunch and snacks ready and when I am not changing diapers or preparing food for the kids, I am menu planning, grocery list making, I wash dishes at least 3 times a day, I am paying bills, making necessary phone calls, cleaning up toys, preparing for nap time, wiping up spit-up or runny noses, I am keeping the laundry going, I am chasing down the little pup who has jumped the fence again, I am refereeing arguments between toddlers and the list goes on. No one knows or sees what goes on in my home, but typically, if you tell someone in the outside world that you are a stay at home mom, you see their red flags pop up like antennas. They automatically assume that you are a lazy bum who does nothing all day.
When I get to feeling down about how others view my working at home, I turn to the best keeper at home I know and find solace in her example and I am renewed and energized to fight the good fight and keep up the good work. Let me share her with you:
The Virtuous Woman
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
This is for all of those stay at home moms I know who have nothing to do but sit around all day! ;-)
1 comment:
You are absolutely right. Ignorance is not bliss in this case. There are some myths that need to be disproved. Somewhere between dishes and laundry and everything else that has to be done, SAH Moms have more than enough to do.
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